Stay curious!

Have you ever found yourself talking to… well, yourself? Whether during a stressful moment while solving a problem or just out of the blue, talking to ourselves is something that almost all of us do. But why do we do it? And more importantly, is it normal? Spoiler alert: it absolutely is! By the end of this article, you’ll understand why self-talk is actually a superpower you should embrace—and how it can transform your everyday life.

What is self-talk?

Self-talk is the act of talking to yourself, either silently in your head or out loud. It can range from simple thoughts like “What should I wear today?” to complex problem-solving or motivational speeches. But how do people perceive self-talk? While society might sometimes view self-talk with curiosity or even scepticism, labelling it as ‘odd,’ research shows that it’s a completely normal—and beneficial—aspect of our mental processes.

The psychological roots of self-talk

The origins of self-talk can be traced back to early childhood development, a concept first explored by the renowned psychologist Lev Vygotsky in the 1930s. Vygotsky observed that as children learn to speak, they also begin to engage in a form of self-directed speech that is often heard during play. What may seem like mere playful chatter is actually the foundation of our inner voice. As children grow, this external dialogue gradually becomes internalised, transforming into silent self-talk by around the age of 5. This shift marks the beginning of a powerful mental tool that adults use to navigate complex thoughts and emotions.

Modern psychology, particularly cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), recognises self-talk as a crucial element in managing our thoughts and behaviours. It manifests itself in a variety of ways – whether as positive pep talks, negative self-criticism, or instructional guidance to stay focused on tasks. More than just words in our heads, it’s an important emotional regulation mechanism that helps us manage stress, process emotions and maintain control over our actions.

The science behind self-talk

Research shows that self-talk activates different regions of the brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex, which is crucial for planning, decision-making and complex cognitive processes. When we engage in self-talk, this part of the brain lights up, helping us to process information more efficiently and effectively. This makes self-talk a powerful tool for problem solving and staying focused.

Beyond cognitive functions, self-talk also plays an important role in emotional regulation. Studies have shown that self-talk, especially when used from a third-person perspective (e.g., “Why is John feeling this way?” instead of “Why am I feeling this way?”), can help create psychological distance from emotions. This distance allows for better control of emotional responses, reducing stress and anxiety. For example, a study by Kross et al. (2014) showed that this technique can significantly improve emotional regulation by reframing negative thoughts and focusing on the positive.

The benefits of talking to ourselves

Many of us use self-talk to improve our performance, whether we realise it or not. Athletes, for example, use it to stay focused and motivated. But self-talk isn’t just for professionals – it can help everyone improve their emotional regulation, mental wellbeing and self-confidence. Here’s a breakdown of the benefits:

• Improved focus, problem-solving, and emotional regulation: Self-talk helps you stay on task during demanding activities, clarifies thoughts for better decision-making, and serves as a powerful tool for managing emotions, reducing stress, and preventing negative feelings from overwhelming you.
  
• Boost confidence and motivation: Giving yourself a pep talk can boost your confidence and motivate you to tackle challenges. This is particularly useful in high-pressure situations such as public speaking or competitive sports.
  
• Better performance: Studies have shown that athletes and performers use self-talk to improve their performance by staying mentally sharp and focused at critical moments .
  
• Resilience and perseverance: Self-talk can encourage you to keep going when the going gets tough. By reminding yourself of your strengths and past successes, you build resilience and are more likely to persevere through difficult situations.
  
• Goal achievement: By talking to yourself about your goals and the steps you need to take to achieve them, self-talk can help you stay on track and motivated, making it more likely that you’ll achieve your goals.

When we talk positively to ourselves, we empower ourselves to take on challenges, face fears and persevere in difficult situations. Self-talk is a tool that, when used effectively, can significantly improve many aspects of our lives.

The potential downsides of self-talk

Of course, not all self-talk is beneficial. Negative self-talk can be harmful, leading to increased anxiety, feelings of depression and lower self-esteem. It can also contribute to overthinking, where we get stuck in a loop of negative thoughts. But the good news is that we can change the way we talk to ourselves. Recognizing and reshaping negative self-talk is the first step toward harnessing the full power of this inner dialogue.

How to cultivate healthy self-talk

Here’s how to start cultivating healthy self-talk:

• Become aware: Pay attention to what you say to yourself throughout the day. Are your inner conversations mostly positive or negative?
  
• Practice reframing: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to reframe those thoughts into something more positive or constructive. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll never get this right,” try, “This is challenging, but I can figure it out.
  
• Make it a habit: Regular practices such as journaling or mindfulness can help you maintain a healthy inner dialogue. By actively working on your self-talk, you can not only improve your mood, but also your overall mental health.

The bottom line: Embrace your inner voice

So why do we talk to ourselves? It’s more than just a habit—it’s a natural part of how we think, plan, and process emotions. By embracing your inner voice, you’re not just talking to yourself; you’re tapping into a superpower that can guide you through the complexities of life with greater clarity and confidence.